Every once in a while i get to go home and spend a weekend there, now this convenience is only possible because i live but 5 hours away from Chennai… But travelling i must admit, is not my strong point… As once again, you shall find out over the duration of this post… Let the tale begin !
It was 11pm, and i was at the bus stand waiting for my bus to arrive to take me back to Bangalore, I had a pretty rough week thus far and i was not too thrilled at leaving home. Running stories and situations through my head for the next few months. The bus finally came about and i got onto my seat. Now, my geography in Bangalore is VERY poor, in fact i cannot even begin to tell you how little i knew at that point.. anyway, there was 1 stop in particular that i remembered, Madiwala on Hosur Main Road. As you will find out, omitting words makes a big difference in location.
The final stop for the bus is Majestic circle, which is about an hours extra travel time from where i stay, so to avoid all that extra time and get home earlier.. i told the conductor that i wanted to get off at Hosur Main Road, he didn’t hear me properly so i shouted Hosur !! And he was like ok ok, no problem. With that sorted out i had no problems in finding sleep which so usually evades me on trips because i fear missing my stop. I was leaning against the window peering out into the dark surroundings and started to drift away, and very smoothly fell asleep.
Suddenly, there was a shout, ” Hosur, Hosur ” the conductor exclaimed, i was startled to say the least and very groggy, i got up, hauled my bag and got off the bus. I was pretty happy because i got off correctly and thought it was gonna be a good day. Now, my first clue as soon as i got off the bus was that it was still dark, i shrugged and assumed the sun will come up soon. I looked around me and realised i didnt really know my surroundings, this is when slight sense of panic set in i spun around just in time to watch my bus roll away, nobody else got off. I looked down at my watch, it read 3.10 am. This was madness, i was supposed to reach at 6am ! where am I ? not thinking very clearly i walked over to an auto driver present at the side of the road ( yes, at 3am there was an auto guy ) and asked him how far it was to JP Nagar. He literally laughed out loud, and told me that i wasn’t in Bangalore.
Now referring to my previously crappy knowledge of geography, I instantly realized that… well that i had a problem. I asked the auto driver where i was, and he said very nicely.. Hosur, and ladies and gentlemen, Hosur main road, is longer than i thought. So i checked my maps on my cellphone and found out that Hosur is about 40 km outside of Bangalore. Starting to panic, i asked the auto driver whether he would take me to JP Nagar, and he said , (in tamil ) ” no brother, this is Tamil Nadu, not Karnataka “. I at that point WTF-ed myself. I didn’t miss my stop, I didn’t get off at the wrong street, i didn’t get off in the wrong area, i didnt get off in the wrong city / village, I …. got off… in the wrong state ! Do you know how retarded that is ! I do !
After slapping my face a few times i asked him what time the next bus would be leaving to Bangalore, thankfully he said 4am, all i had to do was waste 20 minutes in the middle of nowhere. I sat on the side of the pavement, and had some very dodgy characters crawl past me in that time. 4am couldn’t have come any later. An old lady conductor stepped out and in a very shrill voice screamed Bangalore. Now, i know black magic and about witches, i was not about to get onto that bus, but she turned and glared, and almost as if spell like i was drawn to the bus, more out of fear but whatever.
I got onto the bus, and on it were the shadiest people i have ever met, i tucked my watch and wallet into my boxers ( defence mechanism ) and found a seat inbetween 2 burley men who were stinking of sweat at this unearthly hour, they had beards up till their shoulders and made me sit in the middle, i felt like white pudding they were about to devour. I forced myself to stay awake for fear of missing my stop, bneing robbed, or having bruno and rex over here having their way with me.
The air was cold, that helped a lot. now this bus stopped at every single stop, and before you knew it, the bus was full to the brim. I could barely squeeze forward or move to the side. I felt like a prize in a box of cereal, choking and suffocating. I gritted my teeth through it all and was determined to make it out and live to tell the tale ( yes this is a defining moment ), i eventually made it to my stop, i got touched so awkwardly so many times its not even cool to joke about. I got off and well, i got off at the wrong place again ! Son of a ****.. BUT! i was in Bangalore.
I got onto the auto, and he ripped me off to kingdom come, sigh, come to think of it, i arrived at 5.45, and home by 6.20.. same time as the other bus, so looks like my effort to be streetwise and stuff backfired.
Moral of my story, stick to my strengths, thinking and planning… clearly not one of those..
Till next time folks !
baaaabz!!! this is aweeesome!!!! i never really knew a real person who writes his own blog! yay! cooooolness!! i know famous ppl!!
but seriously.. good job.. you tell the story really well you know 
cheers